it’s not only about me,
it’s about you and see, i can do what i want.
i can just run away, or shut every one out, as i always did.
thanks for disturbing me for a while.
and make me think, a lot.
but you don’t know me. really don’t know me.


this just me and my messed mind. i thought a lot of something lately, thought over it again and again, till i realize that i really have to stop it.




this world is too wide to be explored by your own self.. all you need just some friends then you’ll see brighter day

it was token when it was rain at noon..

weekly wringing challange : i wish i were

it’s kind a title that force us to publish our wish that didn’t come true yet, isn’t it?

after reading the test paper, i usually said i wish i were studying this material, so i can answer that question. and when i said that it means that the night before exam i didn’t study at all, and i didn’t pay attention in the class. and after knowing my score i wish i were not underestimate that subject, i wish i were smart enough then i can make my parents proud of me. and finally it will came to the situation that i blame my self for being born and being such a burden to my parent, such a shame in my family. at that time i will realize that i should study harder to get something that i want, but as time passed by that spirit will disappear. so whenever my laziness came, i remember that i had made my parents disappointed.

must get better !

in this mid test i had really bad score, and i cant blame everyone but myself. in the test week, i never study, i didn’t pray enough (i mean i feel so far from God), and my attitude against my parents wasn’t good. when i told my mom, she was very upset. and to be honest to know that she was upset is making me realize that i’m not a daughter who can make her proud, suddenly all of pain appear and it feels really hurt. the cause of it is really simple, its just because i’m too lazy. so from that day i dont want to make her upset again, and i learn that :

exam score is equal to your effort (how had you study), attitude against parents, and how close you to God.

mom, forgive me for not being a daughter that can make you proud.